Young and Alone.

A lot of people have been asking me why I chose not to drink, and what has driven me towards such a healthy lifestyle.
Let’s get this straight; I do drink, but I’ve matured enough over the years to understand that everything needs to be done with moderation.

Enough with the grown-up garbage.

When it comes to beverages in general, I’m a champ.
I only drink the good stuff, and by good stuff I mean Dr Pepper.

Dr Pepper is no bullshit. 
A nectar created by some of the most mythical creatures of the underworld.
The only real girlfriend a boy could ever need.
The patron saint of all deliciousness.

Beer is for pussies. Beer is wet bread and olives combined into one vomit-inducing
troll-making faggotry of a drink.

Again, Dr Pepper is no bullshit. The kind of drink that makes you wish Betty White was a cool dude, and makes you want to punch babies in the face while burning a barn full of fucking Pabst Blue Ribbon hipsters.

Get with the program, kids.

Dr Pepper is no bullshit.